Suspended
by HaloSilvercross
Summary: After a few years of separation Uryu and Ichigo meet again.ichigo seems to have someone in his life and Uryu is hurt.Something happened in their past that Made Uryu move away.So what will happen to them both now that they are in the same city and meeting again after all this years?Shounen-ai.my first fan-fic.:).Rated M just in case.
1. Chapter 1

If it takes a lifetime of regrets I'll find u,

Hold u close and tell the truth,

Every second that I spend in life w/o you,

Hurts too much but nothing to do,

Wish I could travel back in time and save us,

From all the pain and memories,

I know it sound absurd but please know,

Whatever I do is the best for you.

So forgive me if I took the wrong path,

It's so hard to stop, there's no looking back,

From dreams that were,

Are nothing but what it was,

A lie, a mirage, a diversion, a parody.

**CHAPTER 1**

The smell of rain was floating in the chilly afternoon air. Autumn leaves were tangoing with the slightly biting wind. The smell of hot food and drinks promised a warm embrace for those on the streets. Uryu Ishida was waiting for the lights to change so that he could cross-over to the other side. He closed his sky-blue eyes and inhaled as much breath as his lungs would allow. It felt good, really good to be back in the town he grew up in. The town that he never forgot for a second after leaving despite some memories that he rather forgot.

He opened his eyes just in sync with the changing lights. Stuffing his hands deep in his coat's pockets he took off on a light run to cross the street. His breath changed into puffy clouds as he exhaled. He gradually stopped to a slower paced walk. He tucked a few strands of hair that had escaped from his small pony-tail behind his ears. A multitude of thoughts raced in his head causing him a slight panic-attack but he inhaled deeply again and tugged on his collar. He was wearing a black turtle-neck sweater underneath his grey duster and black jeans. The sunlight glinted off his silver hoop on his left ear casting a slight glow around the small area. He was also wearing shades the color of orange-red. He didn't pay any mind to some women that openly stared at him while crossing paths or some that were gaping from inside the shops. He definitely cut quite a figure with his slim figure and attractive appearance.

He stopped as he arrived to his destination; 'Viva La Vida café'. As his hands grasped the door handle he hesitated for a second but thinking that he couldn't back out now anyway he went inside. Immediately he realized how cold he had been. The change in temperature was drastic but he quickly became warmed up. Even standing near the door, Uryu could already spot the object of his nervousness. Ichigo Kurosaki. His bright orange hair could not be missed but he wore it longer than back then. It almost touched his shoulder blades. While Uryu's hair was longer on the front like he used to wear it, Ichigo's was longer at the back and shorter on the front. He was wearing a figure hugging blue t-shirt and dark blue jeans. Blue tinted shades hung on the front of his shirt. His jacket was draped on his chair. He was wearing headphones and his head leaned back onto his chair, clearly enjoying the music from it. Uryu smiled and small warmth crept up his heart. It felt good to know that Ichigo did not change _drastically._ Of course a little bit of change was expected, I mean look at him; he was wearing an earring and donned a pony-tail.

He forced his legs to move up to him. He never expected that Ichigo would agree to meet him in the first place. Heck he didn't even know if Ichigo still stayed in the same town. But lady luck seemed to have a soft spot for him as not only did he find out he was here, he also got his number and managed to arrange a short meet. His stomach felt funny as if butterflies were doing the cha-cha in there and they seemed to double the pace as Ichigo saw him and stood up to greet him. Uryu's hand moved up to meet Ichigo's extended hand. It was as if his body was on auto-pilot, his movements seemed strange to him as if seen through a third person's view. Then he claimed back his body when he felt Ichigo's firm grip on his hand. It was strong and reassuring. Full of warmth, full of the essence that seemed to make Ichigo, well Ichigo. It didn't escape his mind that he felt a slight jolt of static when their hands met but he pushed it to the back of his mind. He broke out of his reverie and willed his mouth to spew out words, any words was fine as long as it was something tangible.

Uryu: Ichigo, it's been forever. Well I assume?

Ichigo smirked: How do I look?

_Uryu thought: hot, sexy and deliciously tempting._

Ichigo: I'm feeling great. You don't look too shabby either. Hell, you look amazing if I may say so.

Uryu: Oh, shut up. You're embarrassing, honestly, but thanks I think.

Ichigo: Seriously that was a compliment, I wasn't joking either.

Uryu smiled: Again thanks, you look as great as usual too. Even better perhaps.

_Uryu thought: Much, much better._

Ichigo blushed.

_Oh God he just blushed. Lord so help me I wanna' freaking eat him up. Fuck, how can he blush so innocently after turning me into a mush in heat?_

(As you can see, Uryu's learned pretty new words.)

They took their seat and started idle talk.

Ichigo: fancy ordering food? I'm starved.

Uryu: Of course, it is lunch time.

Ichigo ushered the waiter.

Ichigo: Fish and chips please.

Uryu: For me too.

Waiter: Anything to drink sirs?

Uryu: I'm absolutely craving a good drink right now.

Ichigo chuckled: Isn't it a bit early?

Uryu: Habits die hard.

Ichigo: A bottle of red wine please.

Waiter: Anything else?

Ichigo looked at Uryu but he shook his head: Nope, that'll be it. Thanks.

The waiter promptly left after asking to politely wait for their order.

Ichigo: So the cravings?

Uryu snickered: I practically chugged alcohol everyday back when I left. Had to so as not to freeze my balls off. Kept the blood flowing you know?

Ichigo: Did it flow to 'everywhere'?

As Ichigo's words sank in Uryu turned into a tomato. Ichigo guffawed. Uryu glared. Ichigo put his palms up in a surrendering gesture.

Ichigo: Hey, you started it.

Uryu: Ha-bloody-ha. Glad to see you're the same a-hole you used to be. What are you six?

Ichigo: 23

Uryu contemplated this: 6 bloody years. God it feels good to be back.

Ichigo softly muttered: Good to have you back.

Uryu heard it nonetheless. He decided to change the subject, not wanting to face the implication of that sink in.

Uryu: How's your dad and sisters?

Ichigo: They're great. Dad's in Africa by the way. Figured that since all his kids were grown up he wanted to get around doing something good. He's there doing free medic services with a bunch of his other medical friends. They're setting up medical services in rural areas.

Uryu: Oh yeah, I read something about that back then. Yuzu and Karin are doing well I suppose?

Ichigo: The brats are in college now. Believe it or not Karin is doing a fashion course and Yuzu is the one doing the sports one.

Uryu laughed: Seriously?! That is a surprise. So, you're still living together?

Ichi: Hell no! I would literally go mad if I lived with those two. They rented out an apartment for themselves. I live on my own, besides if we live together my hectic schedule will just disturb theirs.

Uryu: So how's your job as a pediatrician?

Ichi: Well, it's great except when there are emergency calls and all. You'll never know when you'll get one. But I'm pretty sure you know, being a neuro-surgeon and all.

Uryu: Yeah, it can get pretty chaotic at times.

Ichi: What brings you to shore anyway? Are you on a vacation or something?

Uryu sighed: Something on that line that I suppose. I was just getting pretty tired you know. Being a neuro-surgeon and all it felt like I was in this never ending whirlwind. Then I just decided that I needed a break like forever so I thought hey, why not go back to Karakura and try my luck there.

Ichi: You do realize this is not London, right? It's not all high and mighty here.

Uryu: I know strawberry and I don't care much. I made a pretty fortune there what with no one to spend on or anything to splurge on. I saved up a small fortune you know.

Ichi: I still don't think you should have quit, I mean I don't think any hospitals are hiring a neuro-surgeon. Even if it is someone with as much talent as you have.

Uryu: I'm not exactly looking for a neuro-surgeon position; just an ordinary doctor will be fine.

Ichi: Hmm, I'll let'cha know if there's anything available in the hospital I work in and I'll spread the word around to my med friends.

Uryu: Thanks, I…

He got interrupted by the arrival of their food and drinks. After some time spent on eating their conversation resumed and as Ichigo sipped his wine he asked Uryu.

Ichi: So how's your dad?

Uryu grunted: As pompous as ever.

Ichigo snickered: I don't know sounds like someone else I know..

Uryu: Shut up strawberry. Anyway, he didn't come with me here. He stayed back in London with Becca.

Ichi: Eh, who's Becca?

Uryu: If I assume correctly, my soon to be mum.

Ichigo made choking noises: M...Mum?! As if in, your dad's got a girlfriend now?!

Uryu: No need to be surprised, that old geezer is a Casanova. Trust me he uses his looks to his advantage more than you think he might.

Ichi: Do I sense hostility?

Uryu: None what-so-ever, I actually like Becca. She's smart and kind. Besides when it comes to his life it's his call to make decision, I can't exactly whine about the consequences. I'm a big boy and he's a big boy…get what I'm trying to say?

Ichi: Hmmm…not sure. Which part? The one where you like Becca, still despise your dad or the part where you're still a boy despite a big one as you said.

Uryu: Hey, you are so…

Suddenly a lean figure slipped onto the seat beside Ichigo and pecked him on the cheek.

Uryu felt anger and jealousy rising in him causing him to see red.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

_Italics: thoughts_

_Italics and underlined: memory/fragment of the past_

_Italics in a sentence: the word is stressed_

**Previously**

_Suddenly a lean figure slipped onto the seat beside Ichigo and pecked him on the cheek._

_Uryu felt anger and jealousy rising in him causing him to see red._

**Chapter 2**

Uryu was not one to hide his distaste so he calmly yet with a voice full of malice reprimanded the _'intruder'_.

''Excuse me, but can you please mind your manners?''

It was met with a glare from two beautiful blue eyes.

Ichigo seemed to sense the suddenly hostile air around them so he took it in stride to make peace.

'' Err, Uryu this is Grimmjow. Grimm this is Uryu.''

The so called "Grimm" raised an eyebrow.

'' So this the one you told me 'bout? The high-school one?''

'' Yeah, that's him''

For a few second the two men seemed to size-up each other as though considering starting a fist-fight right then and there. Then Grimm extended his hand to Uryu. Despite some reluctance Uryu's right hand met it.

'' Nice to meet you''

_I want to hurt you._

Grimm shrugged off the polite statement.

''Whatever''

_Prick._

'' Ichigo never mentioned a friend named Grimmjow before so I assume you met him after my leaving?''

'' A year before if I remember. Just saw this piece of delicious delight at a concert and hit on him. He hit on me too. Asked him on a date right there.''

He chuckled at the memory. Then he ate some of the food on Ichigo's plate.

Uryu's eyebrow ticked in annoyance.

_Now I want to kill you._

Ichigo who knew Uryu like the back of his hand so realizing his annoyance he slapped Grimm's hand off.

'' Though I'm pretty sure I _hit_ you in a literal way''

Uryu's mind seemed to work at a slower pace than usual because only then did he realize that this loathsome loud-mouth was in fact Ichigo's lover.

His _lover, boyfriend, paramour._

Uryu decided that the thought that he could never hate anyone will be changed forever because as of right then, there was no one he _despised_ more than this Grimmjow.

"So you guys are dating?''

''Yeah pretty much, I'm his boyfriend'' answered Grimm.

Ichigo arched an eyebrow.

'' You mean _I'm_ your boyfriend. You hit on me remember and asked me out. And begged me to accept your 'undying' love''

'' I'm the alpha male here. I deserve to declare myself your boyfriend. Besides does it matter? Funny you don't pick fights like this under the sheets. I'd love this feistiness. It turns me on real bad''

Ichigo had the decency to look appalled.

'' Grimm you bastard, not in front of people''

'' Don't give a damn 'bout other dipshits''

He then leaned towards Ichigo and passionately kissed him full on the lips. Though Ichigo was trying to subdue his lover he was clearly enjoying it as Uryu can see the corners of his lips slightly curve upwards.

Just like that Uryu felt his heart sinking. Right now, Uryu wished more than anything that he had not met with Ichigo again. He wished that he didn't have to sit there and watch him making out with his boyfriend. He wished that he did not have to see Ichigo clearly enjoying the teasing taking place right now after the kiss.

Ichigo seemed to have forgotten about him sitting right across him and that stirred something deep within him. He felt himself grip the edge of the table with a deadly force. Felt the color drain off his already pale face. More than anything, he felt a searing pain in his chest.

He wanted the pain to stop. It hurt too much. He couldn't breathe even as he tried his best to inhale.

_I'm having a panic attack! I have to come down. Breathe Uryu. Shit! Fucking start breathing right now or you're gonna' faint!_

_Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale._

_The downpour._

_That's right, slowly breathe._

_The kiss._

He felt himself calming down.

_The tears, undistinguishable as it was mixed along with the rain._

Grimmjow was tickling Ichigo.

_Ichigo's heartbreaking smile, his words echoing in his ears._

Ichigo laughed while trying to fend off Grimm's hand.

_The goodbye. The emptiness he felt as he walked home. As he opened the door of his apartment. As he slumped against the door, drawed his knees to his chin and stared at the room with a glaze in his eyes._

_His father wandering in and panicking at the sight of him. Checking his temperature, bringing a towel and talking, asking all the time. The blanket being wrapped around him, being carried to his room. Laying there for hours as time went by until losing consciousness._

_Waking up to feel numb._

_Emptiness._

That feeling was returning to him now. He could feel it coming out of his soul. His stomach churned.

His hand released the table and he excused himself. He paid no heed to the questioning look Ichigo sent him. He headed to the direction of the men's room.

He neared the sink and saw his face reflected back at him. He felt dizzy. He leaned forward and gripped the tiled edges of the sink. Something rose from his belly, burning his throat to seek release.

He bent forward a little more and opened his mouth. His retched once. Then again. He tried again but came up empty. He just stood there, a little out of breath. He gargled to get rid of the taste of the puke in his mouth.

Uryu closed his eyes and let out a sigh. This meeting was not going as planned.

_What did I plan?_

_Definitely not watching Ichigo and his boyfriend making out._

_Actually, didn't even consider him having a lover._

_Why not? It's not like he was not supposed to have a life. _

_What was he expecting? That Ichigo would still be single?_

_That he could have a chance?_

At that thought Uryu's head jerked and he thought; was that what he was expecting? A chance with Ichigo?

His forehead crinkled and he sighed again. This was not good. He was thinking too much and losing sight of logic. He was making absurd assumptions based on the past. That was bad. Uryu was a person of logic. He couldn't let emotions run his life or he'll be a mess.

Emotional detachment was good. It meant that no matter what happens he could go through it unharmed. It eased the pain. It took a long time to get to the way he was. To hell that he'll ruin everything by letting his emotions go astray.

All those nights spent with nothing but tears and sorrow. No more. He was getting through this meeting in one piece and will live to tell the tale. And he will not punch Grimmjow's lights out for any reasons.

_That's good. I have a plan. A goal. Plan is good._ _It means order. Order sounds good. Sounds comforting. No more chaos._

With determination in his steps and a steel grey glint in his eyes, Uryu strode back over to his table.

Ichigo looked at him in curiosity. Uryu flashed him a smile and shook his head, implying that he was fine.

''Let's finish our lunch. Maybe Grimmjow can join us too?''

Grimm averted his eyes from Ichigo and regarded Uryu with mild surprise.

'' Yeah, won't be so bad. I can get to know you better''

Although Uryu smiled at that statement it was all he could do not to beat the shit out of that smug bastard. He resumed eating as Grimm hailed the waiter and ordered his food. His entire concentration on chewing properly and not choking or worse; vomiting again.

He will get through the day and damn obnoxious boyfriends with no self-control or decency to the deepest pits of hell.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3**

Uryu felt the darkness around him disappear by swirling with the light. He could hear something in the distant. Something familiar yet he couldn't place his finger on it. He pulled the comforter up over his head. More ringing, closer and more insistent and they were vexing him. He groaned and willed the metallic clanging away.

Apparently whichever God was on duty that day had decided to ignore his pleadings and proceed to make his day terrible.

Ring, ring, ring, ring, riiinnnggggggg.

With a resigned sigh he got up from his warm and comfortable bed. As he slipped on a midnight blue sleeping robe he was almost tempted to slide back in-between the sheets. But it seems that whoever that had decided to visit him was persistent. Slipping on some warm fuzzy slippers he headed towards the front door.

Ring, ring, ring, ring, riiinnnggggggg, riiinnnggggggg.

He quickened his pace and called out.

'' I'm coming, I'm coming!''

Then he mumbled quietly to himself.

''Keep your pants on will ya'.''

Keeping the chain on, he opened the door and gazed out to see who his visitor was.

He was met with a small figure with short black hair and a blinding smile. That exuded malice than warmth.

'' Uryu Ishida! How dare you! You came here after six years and did not even call me or visit me! What is the meaning of this?!''

Uryu quirked his eyebrow then promptly shut the door on the person's face.

Only to have the small creature bang on the door with much more force than she should be able to muster.

'' Go away!''

Honestly, it was too early for him to deal with a loud and relentless woman hammering down his door. It was 7.30 a.m. damn it! He needed his morning batch of hot-chocolate before actually allowing his brain to function properly.

''I swear I will bring down this door in the count of three. One, two…''

Uryu knew very well that she was one to keep promises and not wanting any of his property damaged he unchained the door and held it open.

'' Rukia, don't you ever fucking give up?''

'' You and I both know the answer to that''

Uryu sighed.

'' _Don't _make yourself feel at home. Just sit on the couch and keep quite''

Rukia opened her mouth to protest only to be silenced by Uryu's Index finger and intense glare.

'' At least until I make drinks and properly wake up so please''

Rukia 'hmmphed' but promptly plopped herself on the couch and let her gaze wander around the household.

'_Bloody stuck up'_, she mumbled to herself.

''I heard that Rukia and thank you, it's an honor to rile you up''

The short haired woman played with a loose strand of hair and couldn't help but let a small smile show on her face. When she had heard from Ichigo that Uryu was back in town she was beyond excited. She has not seen him for over six years and wanted to see how he was doing.

Apparently not too bad by the looks of things because Uryu being Uryu was already done unpacking all his things but the décor was sparse. There was a floor to ceiling two door book cabinet made out of polished wood. She strode over to check out the books.

One side of the cabinet was filled with books related to the medical field. Journals, compendiums and biographies adorned the shelves. The other shelves was filled with assorted books ranging from crime novels, fantasy works to hobby-related books like sewing, crafts-making, simple cook books, travelling, archery and kick-boxing.

What caught her eyes were a few photo albums tucked in randomly between those books. She was tempted to browse through them as by the sounds of clanking utensils from the kitchen Uryu was still in the midst of making drinks. But she refrained and went back to her seat.

Despite liking the fact that she could just about loosen up anyone with her unrelenting attitude she respected people's personal space and doesn't like to pry. For one, she knew that Uryu was very reserved and likes to be left to his own devises.

She hated being left in the dark though. She knew only three people who seems to brood all the time without letting anyone know their feelings; Ichigo, Uryu and her brother. It frustrated her to high levels because she wanted to help the people she cares about yet they won't let her into their heads.

She knew for a fact that Uryu leaving for London had something to do with Ichigo. When they had first met there was always bickering between them for no apparent reasons at all.

And then Ichigo with his steadfast way of breaking through peoples barriers had somewhat changed the anti-social Uryu into a person who actually _lived_ in the moment. And Uryu had managed to subdue Ichigo's constant gang-fights though it was a fact that he never picked fights with anybody.

Rukia figured it had something to do with the whole aura around Ichigo. He cut quite the intimidating figure with his lanky muscular build and his attention grabbing orange hair.

But having Uryu beside him had made it seem less patronizing to others. It was as if Uryu's own calm and collected aura neutralized Ichigo's own blazing one.

It also helped that Uryu had managed to convince Ichigo to pour out his energy in kick-boxing instead after finding out that he used to be in the judo club. Until his mom passed away and he couldn't face the one thing that his mother had seemed adamant on letting him learn so he had quit.

Just to make sure he didn't stop halfway Uryu was considerate enough to join in with him despite his own busy schedule with archery, the student council and the arts and crafts club. Ichigo had bristled at him and asked him to mind his own business and stop trying to change his life.

So Uryu had stopped talking to him and went back to his old self. After watching all his efforts crumbling and noting the hurt clearly displayed in Uryu's eyes Ichigo had grumpily agreed a week later, only to find himself loving the sport and enjoying every moment of it.

No one dared to question Ichigo that time in high school purely because of his physical prowess and Uryu was so influential that he would have made life hell for anyone in the school but it was painfully obvious that there was something more between them than simple friendship.

The problem was that she wasn't sure how much the boys realized it at that time. It seemed at that time that they were excessively dependent on each other and flirting without them actually realizing it although it never went anywhere more than that.

Though after Uryu left Rukia began wondering if they had gone past the flirting barrier and kept it well hidden from everyone else. Ichigo's crestfallen face as Uryu had told everyone that he was leaving was forever etched into her memory because it was something she had never seen before. It was the rawest emotion he had ever let pass.

It was further confirmed when Tatsuki had voiced her worry that it was the same expression he wore after his mother had passed away. Somehow the fact that he let himself look so vulnerable in front of anyone meant that he was not as _okay_ as he said he was with the news.

Whatever it was had messed up their lives pretty bad. At first, Rukia was worried when she heard that Uryu was back in town. Ichigo was after all just starting a relationship.

Grimm was not exactly the portrayal of a perfect man and worth as much trouble as he looks as but he loved Ichigo more than anything and was not abashed on letting it show. Of course when Ichigo said the meeting had gone well she was relieved. Maybe whatever was that happened between them it was long over.

They were grown-ups now and they had their respective lives to live. Past ghost were better left undisturbed. It brought to mind something else.

Was Uryu in a relationship?

It didn't seem that way. If he did, he would have never left her and come back to the small town of Karakura in the first place.

'_But the sudden popping-out-of-nowhere gig could have happened because of a bad break off' she thought._

Uryu may seem cold and distant but anyone can see and tell that he takes relationships seriously. Who wouldn't fall for a successful neuro-surgeon with a sexy looks to match?

Speak of the devil, there he came with a tray of drinks and…was that cookies? What did he think she was 8? Even worse was when she saw that it was those tiny nibbly ones, shaped as adorable bunny heads [1].

Rukia huffed.

'' What the hell are those?''

'' Gold bars. What the fuck do they look like? Its biscuits.''

'' I can _see_ that but why the hell are they shaped like bunnies?''

'' Who gives a fuck what they look like! It's just gonna' go in your stomach!'' Exclaimed Uryu.

'' I am not eating them. Get me something else''

Uryu glared harshly at her and motioned to the plate of snacks. Then he hissed out slowly.

'' Stop bloody patronizing me. Either eat it or go to hell. There's nothing else to serve. I'm all out. I thought I'll go grocery shopping later.''

Rukia returned his glare for all but 10 seconds before sighing in defeat. Then she shrugged her shoulder and said '' I didn't come here to fight with you''.

Uryu leaned back on the couch with the cup of drink in his hand and he too sighing, added apologetically.

''I know and I'm sorry. I have a hangover and not feeling so great right now.''

This surprised Rukia a great deal. Uryu and hangovers should not be in the same sentence. No way!

She sputtered '' You? A hangover? You're joking right?''

Uryu's brow furrowed and he said.

'' There's so much you don't know about me, Rukia. I'm a changed man now. There are things I do now that would surprise you''

Rukia hmmphed again.

Uryu smiled and continued again.

'' Just like you who now hates bunnies''.

Rukia gave him a wistful smile.

'' Yeah, I guess. When I loved it while I was younger others thought it was childish but now that I'm over that phase everyone seems to try and shove the little icon at my face. It's really annoying.''

Uryu chuckled at that. Both of them sipped tea for a few seconds in complete silence.

Until Rukia tackled the situation head on by slamming her cup down and asked '' I need to know this and want you to not lie to me please. Back in high school, you and Ichigo? Was there more to it than just friendship? were you , you know…''

'' Dating?'' Uryu supplied.

'' Yes. Were you?'' she asked back.

Uryu sighed and gently placed his cup on the table. He just knew in his heart this was coming and that there's no a avoiding it. when it came to Rukia, even locking her up doesn't stop the women.

'' yes, we were dating'' he said brusquely.

'' and then you broke up?'' she asked.

'' yes''.

'' can you tell me why?'' she asked curiously.

'' I would rather not''.

An odd look passed on Rukia's face and Uryu realized that he might have hurt her feelings. He amended his stupid mistake. He started munching the biscuits feverishly.

'' I'm sorry, it's not you. It's me. I just…can't think of it right now. But the reason was stupid I can tell you that. Just some insecurities and pride and general lack of common sense.''

Rukia smiled slightly.

'' it's alright. It doesn't matter, I guess. But whatever happened, you're a mess now Uryu. And I think you have been ever since then, and I'm afraid you're going to keep on being a mess, and I don't know how if I can stand to watch you do this to yourself." she said.

Uryu stopped in the act of shoving the next biscuit into his mouth halfway through that; by the time she got to the end, they were sitting uneasily in his stomach. Rukia looked very close to crying, and that was no good at all. That was so far from good that it bordered on an end-of-the-world line.

"Rukia," he said, uncomfortable. "Really, I'm fine." He was not used to women crying around him.

Rukia shook her head, and if anything, the attempt at reassurance made her look like she felt worse. "You're really not fine," she insisted. "You won't talk about Ichigo and I'm sure you haven't dated since back then, and—"

"I date!" Uryu protested the false claim.

The smile Rukia gave him was distressingly watery. "Taking people home from the bars and sleeping with them isn't dating, and you know it. And I know this because I saw the jacket your 'date' had left behind _and_ the condom packet under the chair you are sitting in''.

'' tell me straight to my face that you haven't had done that before because I know you have before you got engaged to Renji'' if he was going down it won't be without a fight. A damn good fight.

"But the difference between you and me is that I have had relationships," she said, doing that scary women intuition thing. "I've had several relationships since we graduated. And the only reason I did that was because Renji was being a dick and ignoring me even when I shamelessly made a pass at him"

Uryu's mind raced "I've had relationships."

She gave him her famous glare. '' I dare you to name at least four''

Oops. Work brain work! '' I only had a few short flings here before having more serious ones in London'' he said calmly.

'' name one of your short flings. Here And it damn well not be Szayel. He doesn't count'' she countered.

'' why not?!''

''Keeping someone around and sleeping with them several times over a long weekend doesn't count."

Damn. Though maybe he could see where she was coming from on the Szayel front, since it wasn't like he was really ever in town enough to count as anything but a pretty reliable drinking buddy and hookup. "Well, maybe I don't really want to get into a relationship, huh? Did you ever think of that? I know you know there's a lot of fun in meaningless sex."

'' don't you dare change the subject!'' she said, suddenly fierce. "This isn't about me, it's about you. If I thought you were happy just sleeping around, that would be one thing, but you're not happy and I know it's because you're too afraid to let yourself try for anything that even looks like it's a relationship, and maybe if you'd just deal with whatever it was that happened between you and Ichigo, then maybe you could stop going around in circles like this and maybe you'd actually let yourself be happy!"

He wanted to argue with her—he was so happy right now, why did Rukia think that she knew him better than he knew himself, for fuck's sake—but being irritated and defensive took a back seat when Rukia reached up and dashed the tears off her cheek. Fuck. "Hey." He put the forgotten plate of biscuits down and slid over to her on the couch. "Hey, please don't do that, Rukia, c'mon, it's nothing serious enough to be worth fussing over—" And because it was Rukia, it was easy and not awkward to put his arms around her and pull her against him. she was always hugging him or tackling him back then anyway.

She made a sound between a hiccup and—something else. "Why are you so stupid?"

Uryu cocked up an eyebrow and said '' really? Because I've been called a genius actually''.

It made her sock him one on the shoulder, but the bruise was worth when she let loose a hiccup and a giggle. He tucked her under his chin and patted her back gently. "Seriously, it's okay. I'm okay. I promise I am. I've got a great friend and I'm not gonna date anyone who isn't at least as awesome as she is. Since I'm pretty sure that's impossible, I'll just have to make do with all the meaningless sex I can stand. It's a hard life, but I'll soldier on somehow. I'm just all noble that way." He said straight faced.

The emotional woman drew a shuddering breath and let it out slowly. "You're an idiot," she said again, very softly. "You really are Uryu."

"Yeah if you say so but it's worked out pretty well for me so far." He patted her shoulder. "Try not to worry so much, huh? You're just gonna wear yourself out."

She sighed again and pulled away from him. She wiped her eyes and didn't look at him. "If you change your mind about talking about this..."

"I'm not going to change my mind, because there's not anything to talk about." he said it firmly and hoped that she'd take it to heart, but when she bit her lip, he relented. "I know where to find you," he said as gently as he knew how.

'' fine then'' she said, wiping her eyes one last time and straightening her shoulders. She looked at the empty plate and gaped. "Uryu you fat-ass did you finish all the cookies?"

'' what?! I'm a nervous eater ok? Now you know my deep dark secret.'' He said with a smile.

'' I don't believe it! You stuff your face and yet you're so skinny!'' she huffed.

After half an hour of discussing the perils of carbs to her body, Uryu dragged her out to go grocery shopping so she could stop her headache inducing talk about weights and woman figure and Renji being a bastard about not noticing how much effort she puts into maintaining her figure.

But secretly he was glad she was fine again. The loud Rukia was what he was used to not the crying mess she was before. Especially when it was about him.

She was right. He was not fine. Seeing Grimmjow and Ichigo together had crushed his spirit. But he'll keep it to himself. She will distract him from the heartache with her cheery presence and that's everything that he needs now.

TBC

**A/N: phew, that was one darn long chapter. I hope this format is ok now. I know the past chapter formatting was shit. I'm too lazy to take it down and change it so I'll leave it be right now. I wanna' thank Isame sempai for the idea to this. She said that just because it's a yaoi story doesn't mean Rukia or Orihime need crap thrown at them so I just had the prompt to do this scene. **

**In the next chapter Uryu gets to meet Szayel and something important ensues. Will Uryu give up on Ichigo and move on? Let's see shall we? **

**I'm not giving up on this story yet despite how freakin hard it is to write it down the way I want it **_**and**_** the way that readers might enjoy it. Seriously, I'm shitting bricks trying to move this story on. Apparently having the start and the ending but not the middle part of the plot is a stupid way to write a story.**

**Anyway, thanks for reading and supporting despite how awful I am…;(. I love you guys!**

***dramatic sobs***


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I've been so terribly unmotivated to write this, or anything for that matter. And I'm so sorry that it took this long to get back on my feet. Please put down those pitch forks and torches, no one needs to get hurt here people, especially me..:D.**

**WARNING: Dear ****psychotic reader****s, who have chosen Ichigo and Uryu as their ****OTP**** (you should know that you scare me very much), please feel kind enough ****not**** to ****burn me alive**** after reading this. Contains a ****light sex scene****. Be warned. And yes dear fiery ones, the characters might be OOC, I don't need you to hit me with a club to remind me. **

**CHAPTER 4**

Uryu wanted nothing more than to put the whole thing out of his mind-Ichigo, that blue-haired devil in disguise, Rukia's unexpected nuclear meltdown, the whole lot of it stuffed in a bag and flushed down the toilet. Except that he couldn't, because every time he tried to, the one thing that came back hard, slapping him in the face was Rukia's tear-stained face. Talk about guilt-tripping someone. Back in the past, Uryu wasn't that close with Rukia. She was more of Ichigo's friend than his and the fact that someone like that gave a second glance to him and cared enough to spill a few tears didn't go over him.

What Rukia said bothered him much more than it should. He knew that in truth he isn't actually over Ichigo-never was, but was he really that obvious? He grimaced as he pulled over to the parking lot of the apartment area Rukia lived in. it didn't need to be said how luxurious it looked. Byakuya might have let a simple, ordinary working man court his sister but he wasn't one to let her live in a dump (which to ordinary people like us would seem an okay of a place) so he had gave this place as an early wedding gift.

He remembered to pick up the few boxes of pizza and the rented movie before going inside. As he rode the elevator up to her pent house he looked thoughtful. After that 'day' at Uryu's house, he had silently vowed to be more a mature, functional and contented adult-whatever that meant. Well, at least pretend to for Rukia's sake. That didn't mean he didn't try to change of course. In a way, way, waaaay deep corner of his mind, there was a faint whisper of a voice telling him that what she said was right and it was a damn time to let go of the past and he knew he should listen. It was just that there was a louder one with a home theatre system bellowing in his ears not to. It was hard to be sane these days.

Then again, for Rukia's sake he would try his best, even if it killed him. One of the ways he was doing that was by getting back in touch with some of his old friends and spending more time with Rukia. Like of course, getting a job. He had been cruising down the streets looking for work that he could do other than the stressful medicine line. He used to be good in sewing but hadn't sewed anything other than human bodies in years so he's been trying to get back in touch with his inner fashionista. If he was even half as skillful as he was back then, maybe he could get a job as a designer instead. It was stressful too but it was something he used to enjoy so maybe it wouldn't be so bad.

He had no idea whether his campaign to convince Rukia not to stress herself out over him was working or not—mostly she just looked at his efforts and then him like she could see right through him to his motivations, which in full justice she probably could, and did not seem all that reassured. But he just ignored that part mostly.

Help came in an unexpected manner in the form of a pink and flamboyant male species: Szayel. He had breezed back into town and practically demanded and threatened for their attention-which Uryu was more than glad to oblige. One more distraction for Rukia away from him. He had been halfway around the world this time and is now in Rukia's apartment armed and potentially dangerous with his array of gifts for them. By the flustered look on Rukia's face and the plain relief reflected in her face as she opened the door for him, he was sure she had gotten her gift and it was anything but conventional.

He truly feared for himself now. Szayel was flashy and talked too much for his own good. He was a good friend but tend to come off as creepy at certain stages. He remembered that in high school he had said he wanted to take a bite out of Renji and Uryu just for the sake of it. They had laughed it off, until he truly did. Renji was not at all happy with that. As he looked at him now, Uryu was sure he would have made a great mad scientist, and then he shuddered. It was probably safer for mankind that he didn't go down that path.

Instead he had become a private high-end event organizer. He planned exclusive and extravagant parties for celebrities, politicians and all sorts of big names in the face of the world. One of his most famous clients was Sosuke Aizen, the one rumored to be on the run in the next election. Him and his boyfriend the famous model; Gin Ichimaru was known to throw the best parties around. Aizen is a pretty high-and-mighty guy and loves showing off. Especially when it came to his strangely elegant boyfriend. Gin was so pale he was almost translucent; he had long pretty fingers and silvery hair that added to his ethereal beauty. If you saw him under the moon, he'll steal your breath away with just one look from his dangerously seductive eyes and looks. Especially in a kimono. It was no surprise that Aizen wanted to show him off. He wanted to say to the world this beautiful man is mine and mine alone.

Their latest party was to announce their engagement which didn't come as a surprise. Men and women equally fall head over heels for the silver-head so Aizen must have figured it's about time he laid a claim on him. Uryu wasn't that interested in the entertainment hub but he had heard around that the party had been too was all thanks to the pink floppy thing squeezing the life out of him with a hug right now.

Uryu awkwardly tried to pry Szayel off of him and get precious oxygen into his lungs. He rasped out '' good to see you too, Szayel''. With a huge grin (oh-oh, bad, bad news) Szayel proudly exclaimed '' I have gifts! For all of you! Lots and lots of gifts!''. Translation: 'I have murder plans for you! all of you! Lots and lots of awesome murder plans!'

He shoved a medium sized rectangular box into Uryu's hand and stood eagerly at one side, looking like a puppy waiting for its treats, prodding him to open it. Rukia took a few steps away from them with a tight smile on her face. With fake enthusiasm Uryu peeled the gold wrappings off to find a silver box underneath. And inside it was, was-_chocolates_! Wait, what?! Uryu promptly did a double take. And stared at the confectionary suspiciously

'' these are _chocolates'' _said Uryu.

Szayel rolled his eyes '' of course they are honey. Way to state the _obvious_''.

Uryu sniffed them '' you never give anything _normal_ Szayel. Are these poisoned? If I eat them do I turn purple?'' Such questions are not considered ridiculous when it comes to the pink haired man.

Szayel gasped '' of course not! How could you?! They were the finest of the fine that I bought especially for you. So sue me if I buy something boring and ordinary for once!''

And then with a huff, a stomp of his feet, he turned away and flopped on Rukia's couch making distressed noises and weeping dramatically. Uryu turned to Rukia and they shared the same look. What a drama-queen!

Uryu took a chocolate and tentatively licked it. It tasted fine so he popped it into his mouth. His innards melted in him. In a good way of chocolate was heavenly. It had a smooth and rich texture that melted on your tongue and made you go all squeamish with delight. It was pure bliss. He turned to Rukia with a small smile. ''it's not only safe and edible, it's heavenly. What did he get you?''

'' perfume and stuff''. Rukia flushed red. Uryu looked at her questioningly. '' stuff for—after marriage''. Uryu cleared his throat and looked away. Whatever it was made Rukia flustered, he did not want to know.

Instead he rolled his eyes and said to Szayel ''alright you petty drama-queen, get off the act, I brought pizza.''.

Szayel uncovered his face from the couch and was all sunshine and daisies again. "Yes, thank the gods who created pizza!" he added "I brought beer."

"Of course you did," Rukia huffed, and went to go get plates for the pizza.

They put in a movie that they promptly ignored in favor of breaking into the beer instead, something with a label on it in a language that even Uryu couldn't read. It was cool and complicated on the tongue and good to drink while Szayel rattled on about the places he'd been and seen while he'd been away. Honestly, Uryu couldn't imagine having to sit around and wait for the boss-types to decide whether they were okay with the plans or change whatever that was deemed not enough, but he guessed it wasn't his problem. Szayel was the one who had to put up with all that, and he seemed to be doing well enough with it. He was the restless one, anyway, the one who couldn't ever sit still for very long at all. Always buzzing off everywhere like a bee.

A little while later Rukia smothered a yawn and then waved her hand at them. "Go away," she said. "I need to get some beauty sleep."

Szayel snickered at that and promptly got smacked with an empty pizza box. Uryu smiled and simply shook his head from side-to-side.

By that point, Szayel had managed to sprawl halfway across Uryu—it had happened during a scuffle over the last slice a while ago, when he'd planted himself on top of Uryu to keep him from getting away, and then just hadn't moved after—and they were all yawning. "But your couch is sooooo comfy'', drawled the flamingo.

From the subtle nudge Szayel gave him, Uryu tagged along with the joke and said '' you know, maybe we can sleep over here tonight instead?''.

Rukia crossed her arms '' no way. Now, move your asses back home. I don't want you both to crowd my place''.

Huh, Renji must be making in a late appearance. Szayel grinned and said '' how could you not want us here? I mean we make such pretty furniture pieces!''

''pretty useless furniture pieces'' she retorted.

Szayel pouted and feigned hurt even as he got up and offered a hand to Uryu. Rukia mischievously added '' well you're less useless Szayel, I mean you do bring over some pretty nice gifts for me''. He leaned down to peck her cheeks and Uryu heard her say softly '' it's good to see you Szayel'' and something else he didn't manage to catch. She smiled at Uryu and said ''don't stay out late boys''.

Uryu almost snorted and said ''yeah, well don't do anything I wouldn't do with a certain red head. ''. Before the petite women could behead him he left quickly with Szayel in tow.

Laughing, they went, and wandered towards the parking lot together. Uryu glanced sidelong at Szayel as they did and thought, well, why not? He bumped his shoulder against Szayel. "You want come over?"

Szayel glanced back. When he smiled, it was a different kind of smile from the ones he wore when he was fooling around. His eyes were dark as he replied '' why not. I haven't got anywhere to stay tonight as I'm sure my place needs some cleaning up. Besides I could use some distraction.''

It wasn't hard to read between the lines. This side of Szayel was different, but Uryu liked it—liked seeing things hidden under that laughing act that he liked to put on.

liked how different Szayel looked when he was intent on something, even if that something was only following Uryu home in his car and pressing him up against the inside of his home door for a kiss, long and hot and hungry.

Uryu kissed back just as intently and reached down to close his hands on Szayel's ass and pulled him close, all the while thinking about how familiar all of this is.

That thought didn't quite leave him even after he'd pulled Szayel into his bed and they were busy stripping each other out of their clothes. As Szayel melted on his mattress, bare-skinned and unashamed, all long, slim limbs and pale skin. Uryu prowled over him like a predator, working his fingers, tongue and mouth on places that made Szayel arch and hiss and groan. Like the side of his throat, the shoulder joints and that tiny spot on his waist that had him bucking up with his sweat streaked chest, glazed eyes, huffing breath and his hardness prodding him on the stomach.

When it came to Szayel it was always good. It had been and it still was as he finds out by spreading Szayel's knees wide and holding him there while siding in and out of him. They went at it slowly with no hurries. Szayel tossed his head against the pillow and moaned and begged for more-to go harder and faster. Seeing Szayel coming undone, flushing in passion and want, panting and bucking up to take in more of him, it stirred something in him.

Unwillingly memories of the past-something that he rather forgot came bubbling up. Memories of him and Ichigo locked in passion. It was not the first time he was taken. His first time had been with Szayel, though it hadn't been anything serious then either. More of an experiment really. They were growing boys so it was usual that they got curious. That's when Uryu found out that he liked men better than women, though he had no qualms about dating any of them.

Both of them had been glad that they did it with each other without being in a relationship. Because if they had been dating and lost their virginity then when the time came for the break-off neither would have been strong enough to take it. They only did it once and no more.

It was sometime after that when Uryu met Ichigo and the orange haired boy changed his life. The first time they had sex was when Uryu liked to think he lost his virginity. Though both Ichigo and Uryu had confessed it wasn't their first time.

It had been after a party that everyone practically forced Uryu to throw for his 16th birthday. It was after everyone had left and only Ichigo had remained to help him clean up.

When in the dim setting of the living room they shared passionate kisses that led to more-their first love making experience.

When Ichigo carried Uryu off from the floor of the living room to his bed to finish what they had started.

When Ichigo had shed tears that broke Uryu's heart and made him love Ichigo like no one else.

That one moment that made Uryu vulnerable enough to fall for someone. And which after many years has still kept him fallen.

**TBC**

**A cliffhanger?*chuckles*. Next chapter with show what that 'incident' that happened with Ichigo and Uryu and yes dear fellow patient and much loved readers *coughandIsamesempaicough*, it will involve smut.**

**Bring on the freakin' smut!**

**Also will also show what happens with Uryu and Szayel in their current 'predicament'.**

**This is more of a reminder for me to actually write those down instead of changing the plot every freakin' 5 minutes….:P**


End file.
